Tuesday, October 14, 2008

vent thyme

So, I've mentioned before that my cubicle is in a central office area. There are eight cubicles surrounded by eight offices.

Only one of the cubicles is regularly occupied. That'd be me. There used to be a lot more people in here, but not anymore for one reason or another. Transients come in and out of the administrative area through the day to mill about, have meetings with the managers, check and see if anyone brought in snacks or candy, and use the cubicles for a spell.

Apparently since I'm still here, and since I'm probably typing or reading or something and not making baking soda volcanoes, that makes me a secretary and not a scientist.

No, I do not know where Manager X is.

No, I do not know how to fix a copier.

It's one thing when people ask me simple, quick questions. That's okay. We all do it.

It's the ABSOLUTELY POINTLESS self-justifying explanations that follow I can't take.

"well, i was just asking because we were supposed to have a meeting at four but it's five after and i called her blackberry and she didn't answer and she needs to approve this before the end of the day. well! that's fine, if she's not going to be around then i can just take off too, blah blah blah"

or

"well, i was trying to do this one thing where the page is longer and part of it is collated and i think we're supposed to use this special paper but i saw someone do it another way and nobody said anything about the server being down so blah blah blah"

Ladies and Gentlemen, you are not going to find someone on this earth who cares about your trifles less than I do.

I don't work with your manager. I don't even work with YOU. Obviously I must have "please come and complain at me" written on my forehead. I realize you are just trying to make yourself feel justified for being high-strung and petty and in a foul mood. But that's why they give you breaks during the work day, so you can go have a bitch-fest in the coffee room.

If I'm at my desk typing or studying, are we having a coffee break? No. We are not.

Do the math and let me work.

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